Païen Sacrament

a.a.diCapa

[	Tags	|	there's more above but this was fuckin f	]
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Houseboy for the Holidays? - m4m - 22

[	Tags	|	man i want a job	]
[	Current Location	|	Running to the store in the freezing cold	]
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2007 October 16 Tuesday 2248 hrs (local)

Good evening, Director G*!

            My name is Adam P*; you met my father, B*, earlier this evening at the Habitat for Humanity of Kitsap County board meeting in Bremerton.  As soon as my father returned from the meeting, he shared with me the program highlights prepared for stakeholders for 2007 October which you provided to him.  I read through them and discussed the mission and opportunities inherent to your work with my father, as well as the objectives of Habitat for Humanity.  I am greatly interested in discussing my contribution to that mission.

            Before I continue, I would like to thank you for having the courage to do your work.  I believe that Humanity has no purpose if we are not here to help each other, face to face.  While globalization is a reality and the global community is one we have no choice but to embrace, the truth of the small community is still very much an active factor in our experiences throughout daily life.  Expressions of love are most direct when exchanged between two pairs of eyes and compassion is manifest in the touch of hands as we meet.

            I recently separated from the United States Army, wherein I served as an Arabic language interpreter trained at the Defense Language Institute Foreign Language Center at the Presidio of Monterey.  More recently, I served as Senior Interrogator at a Detainee Holding Area in Iraq.  I am proud to underscore the fact that at no time under my care were atrocities towards detainees ever committed.  While in charge, the scariest thing I experienced was not a barrage of bullets or an IED blast from faceless enemies, but defying a superior officer who asked me to harden my heart and inure myself to the prison environment.  As an Interrogator, one has two options to reach success: either one can embrace the darkest depths of one’s self and delve into the depravity we all know, reveling in the filth of humanity; or alternatively, to maintain a clear distinction between one’s self as a Human and one’s self as a Soldier-Interrogator, engaging one’s humanity even in the execution of the mission in order to ensure that every act is delivered with compassion.  The latter is by far the more difficult choice to maintain, but it is the one that I made.  The difficulty of that role continues to weigh on my soul, and parts of my spirit continue to wander the dusty roads of a camp north of Baghdad.

            Since separating from the Army, I have had a twofold mission—to grow out my hair and to find my serenity.  I have come to understand that keeping large goals simple is one path to success, sir, thus the first of my goals, which demands only that I wait with patience.  The second is considerably more ambiguous, and as you might imagine, few helpful self-help books exist on the subject.  Almost a year has passed since that marked event, but while perhaps my coffers are less than full, my heart is abundantly so.  I have begun the process of forgiveness that allows me to traverse through the grief of losing my identity to the triumph forging one anew.  I continue to learn from past experiences while embracing Life’s new forms.  Trials do also abound, but therein do we find wisdom if we are open to the lesson.

            One of my current trials is confronting the need for occupation.  I come from a faraway land called US ARMY where every moment of one’s life is determined by an omnipotent MA’AM or SIR rarely seen.  Now, here in this new place, I determine every aspect of my experience within the bounds of my environment.  You can imagine, sir, the daunting disparity between those worlds.  It is one thing to be a stranger in a strange land.  It is quite another thing to be a stranger in a familiar land.  I have searched for a niche and made my own way, but it is one that does not sit well upon my shoulders.  I write, sir, and I study anthropology.  I celebrate the infinite diversity of human expression and reflection called language and culture.  Combined, these pursuits make for some healthy living, but they do not meet my base needs of food and shelter, which demand money.

            I continue to search for that appropriate venue for my skills and passions.  I refuse to tarry in a situation which only provides succor to the twin tyrants Debt and Credit.  I understand that hard work is necessary to draw the marrow from the bones of Life, but I will not degrade the blessings I have in order to make money I do not care to amass.  I would like to discuss with you at your soonest convenience how I might work with your team in order to utilize my skills in an medium appropriate to that sentiment.  Thank you for your time, sir, and have a good day.

Adam P*

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Anyway, the other day SoCC essays were due.  The following were inspired by my three, which I wrote and typed in forty-five crazy fast minutes.  They're OK, if ÜBERmelodramatic!, I'm just proud that I could write so fast!

What is DIVERSITY?

Diversity is strength.  There is strength inherent to any community composed of individuals with varying strengths and weaknesses, with differing views and opinions, with multitudinous passions and curiosities.  Within such communities, people share an experience which encompasses the gamut of humanity, from suffering our direst depths--ignorance, anger, and hate--and achieving our greatest heights--understanding, compassion, and love.  Diversity is a celebration during which we meet as equals and demand naught but the best from each other: the best care, the best understanding, the best respect.  Such things are not the best because we express them better than others, but because they are genuinely and freely offered.  I care and understand and respect you TRULY, and not because somebody told me to do so.  Diversity is one constant conversation between two people, though the individuals involved may change, during which I look you in the eye and say, “I am me.  You are you.  I would not have it any other way.  I do not want you to adopt my Way, Sister.  I do not want to adopt your Way, Brother.  I want simply to walk beside you for a time, holding hands, as family."

<<<ALERT: IMMINENT MELODRAMA AHEAD!  ALERT>>>

Influential Individual

            I have a name that reflects my heritage.  I am P*, an American-Filipino whose Island Identity contains the seed of hate and apathy as Spanish friars raped and conquered the matriarchs of my clan.  I am C*, an American-Filipino whose ancient Malay clan was forced from mainland China as Northern Purity swept the continent, forcing Asian Southerners to the shore of the ocean, those on the Rim exiled over the edge, consumed by the waves.  I am Adam, an American-Filipino whose name makes him acceptable among civilized company, undiminished by the unwieldy mantle of his foreign name and foreign antecedents.  I am Adam C* P*, who spent a year in Iraq without a name.  The most influential individual I have yet encountered namelessly interrogated nameless prisoners, identified only by combinations of letters and numbers codifying the sequence of in-processing.  The most influential individual in my life was killed because he had the strength to defy those whose names we read in the paper and see on TV.  He had the strength to love when he wasn’t supposed to love, to be compassionate when he was ordered to harden his heart, to act humanely when every precedent allowed him to commit atrocity.  He had no name, but he gave me pride in mine.

<<<Man, I hate poetry, but people read this like that, so I presented it in that fashion here.>>>

Who I IS^_^

I am a Voice for the Voiceless.

I am open arms and listening ears for the lonely.

I am the last call or the first for a broken heart.

I am the energy to change the world.

I am the result of the environment in which I grew.

I am a reflection.

I am a student of Life.

I am a seeker of Truths.

I am a single drop of water without which the vast ocean is forever reduced.

I am fierce defiance in the face of insurmountable adversity.

I am the immovable object and the unstoppable force.

I am the inherent riddle.

I am a collective and plural identity embodied by a single, individual person.

I am Love.

I am a supernova and a black hole reaching accordance.

I am the pregnant silence after thunder rolls through the heavens and crackles along your bones.

I am the charged stillness before lightning rips the night, scorches the earth, and blinds your eyes.

I am my mother’s son.

I am the Trickster’s Votary.

I am your future.

I am you.

I am.